Adriana Meza

 

Hi. My name is Adriana Meza.  I am the mother of 2 boys and one girl.  My daughter was the last one born.  It was a high-risk pregnancy so I had 4 ultrasounds done before the delivery. 

On January 3, 2002 I had my baby and to my surprise she was born with cleft lip and palate.

That changed my life completely and it hasn’t been the same ever since.   It was something unexpected, abrupt, traumatizing, etc. My husband and I started looking for explanations o which one of us was the guilty.  At the hospital nobody could tell us the reason why our baby was born with that problem.  They were feeding my baby with a stomach tube and I felt like I was going to die.

I had my baby on a Thursday and I was released from the hospital on a Saturday but my little doll stayed in the hospital longer, I was frustrated about that.  They asked us for a special baby bottle before they would release the baby.  We looked for it in many places and couldn’t find one.  It was until Monday when we found one and went to the hospital so that they would show us how to feed the baby with this baby bottle.  To our surprise not even the pediatrician knew how to use it, so they only told us that.. “maybe if we placed what looked like a palate towards the top of the mouth”.  We anxiously took the baby home at noon and at 3:00 PM she had to be fed and she could do it by herself since the opening on her palate was too wide.  Hours went by and 6:00 PM. came and went and then it was 9:00 PM and still the same, not able to eat.  By midnight I finally asked my husband to take our baby back to the hospital so that they would help us feed our baby.  It already had been 12 hours without eating for my little doll.  We had to leave our two little boys at home sleeping along because we didn’t have anybody that could take care of them while we were gone. 

At the hospital they got mad at us because they said that we should had fed him with a stomach tube.  We told them that they didn’t show us how and that we were told to use the special baby bottle.  They showed us how to use the stomach tube and it was terrible, I was afraid to hurt her, I was in panic because they told us that if we didn’t placed it right we could kill her.  They gave us 12 tubes and 2 syringes so that we could feed her at night and then during the day to go and get a doctor’s prescription for more tubes, syringes and gloves. 

My husband was very cruel with me, I was afraid and wished to cry to relieve myself and be stronger.  But he would not let me cry, he kept saying that if I cried it was because I didn’t love my little doll.  I made myself strong and decided that my little doll was going to live and that I was going to help her the same way I helped her during the 9 months that she was in my womb. 

The night went by and the following morning we went to the hospital for more supplies.  At the hospital they gave us just a few supplies and told us that we had to wash them and re-use them again.  Even though on the packages said that it was non-reusable material.

Since we were inexperience in that matter we went ahead on using them and boiling them.  To our surprise when we boiled them, they got very soft like spaghetti and we ended up having to buy more tubes syringes and gloves. 

My husband and I started having problems since our budget is very limited and we had a lot of expenses.  It wasn’t how expensive everything was, it was more the quantity that we had to buy.

When my little doll was 10 days old I started to look for help in the newspaper, DIF, clinics, until one day God sent me to a person that was like an angel.  An angel that had suffered the indifference of the medical personnel of the Seguro Social Hospital in Mexicali, as well as the lack of information.

At the newspaper they gave me a phone number and when I called, my “angel” answered.  When I explained the problem she told me in a very cold and rude way that she couldn’t help at that time because the baby had to weight over 4.5 Kilos and my little doll only weighted 3.05 Kilos.

I called another Red Cross Station and a very nice person helped me.  She listened to what I said and then she called “my Angel” and told her that what I was looking for was only information and training so that I could help my baby.  I don’t know what else she told her but after their conversation, my “Angel” called me.  She explained to me that her attitude was not aggressive that her character was like that all the time.  She then listened to me and gave me an appointment so that I could see her and get more information from her and at the same time she would check my baby.

That was a long night, when I woke up it was time to take my little doll.  I was afraid but my baby gave me the strength that I needed.  When I got there my “angel” came out, now I finally met the person that was going to help me.  She is Ramona; she is in charge of coordinating and helping the kids with problems at the Pueblo Nuevo Red Cross station in Mexicali.

When we met her she told us that her way was rough but not rude.  I started to cry and I told her about our problems at the hospital when I had my baby and the lack of information there.  She already had all the information there ready for us.  She explained to us that the malformation of cleft lip and palate is very common.  She expressed a lot of patience explaining us everything.  She gave us the registration that was going to be sent to the hospital where they were going to take care of my baby.  I didn’t wanted to have my baby’s surgery at the Hospital where we went before because of the way they had treated us.

When I heard her, my heart was overwhelmed with hope and thrills.  She told me that I needed a lot of patience because the wait was going to be long.  She asked me to trust her and I did.  I told her that I was going to do what ever she asked me to do, and this is how it has been.  She told me that I should exercise my rights and ask for more supplies so that I could help feed my baby.  What she told me helped me to get more strength and the following day I went to the Hospital and talked to the administrators.

Again I told them about my case and they said that it was unexplainable the reason why they wouldn’t give me more supplies that I needed.  He apologized so many times that I don’t remember how many or what he said.  Those apologies don’t bring me back the trust on them since from the beginning of the ultrasounds they could see the malformation of my baby and they didn’t said a word about it.  Ever since they give me what ever I need for my baby but this bad feeling that I have towards them nothing will make it go away. 

My husband and I have a lot of problems; he is very impatient with me and with the 3 kids.  Also because he was getting desperate waiting for the call about the appointment.  I had faith, my angel asked me for confidence and patience and I wasn’t going to let anybody break me away from that, not even my husband.

One day Ramona (my Angel) called me to let me know that finally the appointment for the first surgery had arrived.  The whole family got very exited and we started getting prepare for that but it wasn’t carried out on that date because 3 days before the surgery my little doll got sick.  Flames formed by the lack of a palate blocked a lung and she had to be taken into the hospital.

I felt like I was going to die, it was so frustrating, I had been waiting for 2 months for the surgery day and because of an illness she couldn’t go to her appointment after all.  I cried a lot and my husband got mad at me and told me that there was no reason why I should be crying, (how dumb?).

Well, Ramona told me that we were going to start it all over again and to have a lot of “PATIENCE”.  The conflicts with my husband continued, he even told me that he didn’t tolerate the baby anymore.  To this I asked him to leave, I am sufficiently strong myself to help my little doll and support my 3 sons.  The man is so indiferent and with no love feelings at all.  If he was to ask me who did I love the most.  By common sense, I prefer a thousand times more, my little doll and her brothers. 

I kept waiting for the appointment, a month went by and nothing happened.  Almost at the end of the fourth month Ramona called me to let me know that finally the second appointment was schedule.  4 long months had gone by, it was a long wait and now finally on May 1^st   my little doll had her first surgery.

I received help with a place where to stay and with the meals.  I also met people that suffer just like me and that think that they are the only ones with this kind of problems.  But they are not the only ones nor are they alone; we all suffer in different ways.

I want to thank from the bottom of my heart to:

Ramona

Mary        

Diana

They gave us moral support that it can only be given through love, thanks a lot.

Today my baby is a different one and I am also a different person myself.

Love and faith break all barriers.

God bless all the people that I met in my harsh moments.

 

Adriana Meza Leyva